Oh well, Hello there.
Did you bring me cookies?
You didn't? THEN LEAVE IMMEDIATELY.
I am, of course, kidding. (But next time remember cookies)
GOOD SHEEPS it's been a long time since the Pasta was salted. I would grovel and apologise... but I was drowning in boiling lava. So I figured that was a good enough excuse.
This is going to be a little "WHAT IS SEXY" list. Things that I have found or have stumbled over recently (over the last month) that I thought "Damn, universe- that's cool" or weird... or epic... or lovely. Etc. Etc.
MUSIC
This month has turfed up some very tasty soundbits to stuff our ear-holes with.
The first is a track by
Coyote Kisses; "Conscious Plot"
Sent down from the bum in my attic on a cassette, this piece of music is a fantastically put together piece of dub---wubwub. With dad-dancing synthesisers, drugged-up drops and a mind-frazzling bridge in the middle, this piece has quickly become one of my favourites. You can go and like the electronic duo artists on
Facebook and be updated with their spine-chilling base-drops.
Next up; another dub-wub piece, this time by a talented dub-head named "Noisia" (Appropriate level +20)
The piece is called "Tommy's Theme" and since I can't get words out right now (I'm listening to it and typing/headbanging don't always go together too well) I'll let Noisia explain it:
"In trademark style, 'Tommy's Theme' is a morphing many-headed dubstep
beast that reinforces their revered reputation at the forefront of
electronic music. Opening with a cinematic landscape built from lush
strings, soft choral voices and stumbling rhythmic rubble, the song is
swept up in orchestral grandeur before being turned on its head. As the
drums thunder home, deadly bass swipes swing through the track
destroying everything in their path and elastic synths mutate through
the ever-shifting sonic minefield."
There you have it. Another beautiful piece handed to me from my attic. Love you, bum.
COMICS
What's Batman been reading this month?
Fables Vol 1: Legends in Exile (
Bill Willingham)
After reading just the first quarter of this one, I knew it was going to be a good'n. Following the story of lots of modernised fairytale characters, they draw you into their twisted, humorous and dark way of life. Beautifully drawn, wonderfully written and lovingly presented. Stunning piece.
HAPPY (
Grant Morrison)
If you've just read who wrote this one, rubbed your hands together and thought "oh boy, this is gonna be awesome" you are bang on. This four-part miniseries ended this month, and oh man was it a stunner. I'm really hoping they do another little instalment sometime this year or next, but I wouldn't hold out much hope, they did tie everything up very tidily. So happy with this one (pardon the pun) Go and buy it immediately.
ExSanguine (
Tim Seeley)
The genius known as Tim Seeley is at it again, with this mini-series which has very quickly become one of my favourite series of all time. A romance between a serial killer and a vampire. Beautiful for everyone. Lots of blood, action, gore, crime, love, passion, sex and of course- filthy vengeance. It was such a shame to see this one end, but so happy that the quality of the comics lasted all the way until the end. Thank you, Seeley. You great man.
(That cover happens to be my ipad background currently, my favourite cover)
and finally,
Colder (
Paul Tobin)
A Dark Horse favourite of mine, Colder. Yet another mini-series that hasn't quite finished yet. Just waiting on the very last one. I am so happy with this one, the characters are so easy to get attached to, when they feel pain- you do too. and I mean you FEEL it. The storyline is just impossible to explain, so I won't even go there- but it's just fantastically dark, very well written and even the bad guy (Nimble Jack) is someone you'd want to have tea with (Even if there's a good chance he'd try and drag your soul through your toenails).
YOUTUBE CHANNELS
We all have them, a long ol' subscription list on youtube that we sometimes scrawl through when we're bored. Mine, however has just had a facelift, only keeping in the youtubers I think deserve my constant attention. I will be doing a top-five countdown of my current favourites, which are- like most price changes- subject to change without notice.
5)
Rugburn
This channel produces little animated, funny shorts. They've recently started a webseries called "DogSnack" with a ridiculously catchy themetune played at the end, and cutesie, nameless characters that get up to--- well. You'll just have to watch it. Recommended for the sorts of people who enjoyed
Noel Fielding's "
Luxury Comedy" or "
Mighty Boosh" or other bizarre sorts of humour.
4)
MrOwnagePranks
This fantastic channel is run by one, solo guy but it sounds like a whole group of them! Similar to
E4's "FoneJacker" the dude rings up lots of businesses and pranks them good and proper using lots of different voices. He is very good at each voice and knows how to keep them on the phone.
3)
Pewdiepie
With over 5million subscribers, this guy isn't a quiet youtuber. With VERY regular uploads of him playing a massive variety of games with funny narration and honest reactions, his videos are fantastic for those "I've got 20 minutes before my lecture what do I do"- moments. Give him a watch, but whatever you do- don't show him BARRELS.
2)
Daily Grace
This daily channel is one of my most watched recently. She's funny, charming, open, honest and succinct. Her videos are well edited so there's no hanging about and with 800,000 subscribers, she can't be doing it wrong. Give her a watch, and look out for every Friday with "Sexy Friday"
1) and with the top spot on Pasta's youtube-channel countdown, we have the one, the only
Ashens.
At the moment, I can not get enough of this smooth-talking guy with his dapper jacket, bright red tie and reviews that will make your week. His uploads aren't regular, but they are constant and he will have you sitting, watching his channel toggling F5 until something new pops up. He's currently raising money to make a film that has been his dream for years, so if you have rich friends or have some extra money (and fancy picking up some "thank you" presents from the man himself) you can
donate here.
IPAD GAMES
Since I play so many of these, I will definitely start "salting" (posting) about good ones I've tried. I'll do a little sum up of the aims and give it a rating out of 5.
Akinator (Elokence; version 2.4.0)
The akinator is a genie-type game which can guess who you're thinking of through the use of questions. Even people who you personally know. It's frightening, disconcerting and sometimes MUCH too quick to let you believe it's not a tiny wizard stuck in your iPad. Excellent fun, brilliant party-trick that requires no learning.
The Simpsons: Tapped Out (Electronic Arts; version 4.1.50)
This sims-game is one of the best free ones out there! Playing as characters from the overl-y popular American tv show, the dialogue is recognisable from the show along with the buildings, art style and quests. Really stuck into this one, be careful with spending real money on this one though, it lures you in and at £7.99 a go, it's not cheap! I have yet to spend any real money on it and have happily got to a comfortable level 12!
Candy Crush Saga (King.com Limited; version 1.0.8)
This one's taken off nearly as well as "Angry Birds" did all those years ago. Everyone seems to be playing it, and because of its close connections with Facebook, you can never escape once you've started! The difficulty on this one really ranges, some levels take seconds while others can have you stuck for up to a week before luck drops the right candy. A game this addictive for free, who can complain? I lied, one complaint- to get into the different areas, you have to receive in-game "tickets" from your Facebook friends to let you pass... not sure what that's all about other than a cheap shot at getting more people hooked. Other than that, go for it!
Alpaca World HD (Ammonite Studio; version 2.0.1)
Oh boy, this is an amazing game. Whoever woke up one morning and thought "I know what the world needs, an unexplainable amount of people like alpacas (and llamas) and another load of people like Pokemon! Why not... MERGE THEM" needs an award and a promotion. Two of my favourite things in one game where spending real money doesn't even exist unless you go looking for it, it encourages you to do everything you can in game and progressing levels is challenging enough to be fun but still addictive. Collect alpacas and battle them among the tall grass to collect all of the colous to fill your "colour dex"! Stupendous fun and just bloomin adorable.
Oh did I mention you can dress them up too?
I could go on with one million other game reviews, but instead I shall save them for future Salts (posts).
I think that'll do for this one.
Don't die, don't get lost- and whatever you do, don't feed purple hippos. Those things get vicious if you offer them food.
A matter of weeks after their final part of "Conventional Weapons" had been released, the shocking news has wracked the Internet. I will miss them, as for me (as with many people of my generation) they were the first band I really got into. They were the first band I could devote to, could collect their albums and be part of a fandom. 
