Baby Badgers and Flapjacks

So I've just finished watching baby badgers on a live web cam feed. Adorable.

First, I want to lighten your mood with this;

Because I worry you might be looking at me with that look you do that means you're angry but too polite to say so.
But I'm not going to apologise. APOLOGIES ARE FOR THE WEAK. (I don't believe that)

Yep, so this happened. (Love the little heads up on the bottom of that photo.)
A kid decided to lob a triangular flapjack into another kid's eye and as a measure to protect future children from the murderous snacks, the school in question has made it against regulation to allow triangular flapjacks, they will now only serve square flapjacks.

I've heard the phrase "Health and safety has gone mad" but this is getting stupid now, guys.
Also- I'd like to know if anyone has sat down and told whoever made this earth-shattering decision that if a child breaks a square flapjack in half... it would make a triangular flapjack. To avoid this, of course, you could employ "Flapjack police" that would stand in any and every eating area of the school and as soon as a flapjack becomes a triangular shape, they have permission to seize and destroy the weapon before any harm is done.

Also, just the last problem I have with this; I didn't learn too much from primary school. I learnt the basics, y'know- how to use scissors, colouring inside the lines (I was never good at that), the fact there was a difference between a zebra and a zebra (pronounced the American and British way, I genuinely thought they were completely different creatures that looked similar. That's what American television does to a young child)

and amongst this invaluable knowledge, I also learnt there were three corners on a triangle and in fact four on a square.
They think three corners were lethal, now they've just increased the number of corners to do damage by 33.3'%

Maybe the person who decided this just wants to achieve the Guinness world record for most court cases over flapjack-related incidents.

On a related note- A supermarket chain has been forced to remove 300 packets of peanuts from it's shelves because... get this... they didn't have "Warning: May Contain Nuts" written on them.
I can't sum this story up as well as Russel Howard can (Explicit, not one for when the younger sibling is around);

:B