Hello Kitty Gone Bad

So I got a new friend;

Her name is Harley (Like Harley Quinn from the Batman universe) and I will love her and hug her and squeeze her and love her.

I realise no salting has been done for more than is acceptable and I'll tell you for why. I went on holiday, I did.
I flew a golden eagle, I did.
I floated in a boat, I did.
I ate pancakes.

Pancakes. (Not bacon pancakes though)

Also this month;

=NEW DISCOVERY=*
(*This is not to become a thing)

The discovery of the century almost ensured to give you a coronary or heart failure. 

KFP! Kentucky Fried Pizza. Don't give me that judgemental look. 

Actually, you know what? Do. It's ruined every diet I could possibly imagine myself on.

You ever seen this;

It's literally like the gateway to fast-food heaven? KFC and Pizza Hut all in a very small area. This is how to play; KFP.

1. Find animal, mineral or vegetable (or clown) to go shopping with.
2. Find food court with both KFC and Pizza Hut.
3. Send peer, relative, friend or mortal enemy to KFC to pick up boneless banquet (x2... I told you you'd die from this)
4. Go and collect one individual size pizza for yourself and another for your companion.
5. Choose noshing area and both return to it.
6. Decorate that pizzery goodness in chickeny goodness and eat that shit 'till you weep grease.
Optional 7. Purchase chips from MacDonalds also in Foodcourt and really indulge.

(Not advised for individuals who suffer from; asthma, heart problems, back problems, Fast-food related phobias, vegetarianism, pregnancy, health-freakness or old age. Also not recommended for those wanting to live past the age of 30)

Whilst eating this beautiful array of artery-blocking power, across the food court from where we sat was a family. A Mother, the size of what I like to call a "Land Whale", another female who could have been partner or friend and four or five children all of primary school age being approached by what looked like police. 
Being British, I couldn't help but to be over-ly curious and very unsubtle about it, so listening in, they were being told off for encouraging their children to be truant. Also known as keeping your children out of school to take them to MacDonald's... This is when I noticed that the "police" in fact had "Truancy Police" written on their uniforms. 
Yeah, that's a thing now. They genuinely hire people to walk around in police outfits finding the parents who think it's OK to keep their children out of school and punishing them. Genius. I love it.

Also this month; This happened.

 This happened for dinner... AFTER lunching on KFP.
I am so happy to tell you I couldn't finish all this, but god damn right now it looks so tasty... 

and on that note. The best chat-up line I've heard this month.