That'll be £3.40 Please Sir... Sorry, Are You Actually Trying to Hand Me a £20 Note?

I shaved my legs yesterday, so last night I spent a good half an hour rubbing them together.

Hello my bovine friends. Welcome to my aubergine of despair.

This blog post is going out to anyone who works in retail. Anyone who stands behind a till all day, every week, some people every day. Poor bastards.
I feel for you and know a lot of people who will too.

My first thought of the day, last working day, was when I was handed a £20 note for something that was coming to £3.40 just out of instinct, I took the money and had to fight the urge to not say thank you. I muttered it instead.
It made me wonder- what if tills were all fitted with lie-detectors?
*Customer hands a £20 note*
Cashier: Thank you..,
Lie Detector: *VWORP VWORP LIE DETECTED VWORP VWORP*

Cashier: Yes, that pen is fantastic at writing, I've used them myself.
Lie Detector: *VWORP VWORP BULLSHIT DETECTED VWORP VWORP*

Cashier: So you bought this sealed cartridge pen and when you got it out the packaging, it just didn't work? The cartridge HAPPENED to be poked in so hard it broke the pen itself?
Customer: Precisely.
Lie Detector: You know the drill.


Later the same day, I sold a cocacola to an unsuspecting victim for... get this. £1.85
£1.85 for a bottle of stuff that costs probably less than 2 pennies to dispense. He and I were both pretty flabergasted... and quite disgusted. Nearly as disgusted as the lady who wanted Marlborough Light cigarettes for £9.05 and then changed her mind pretty sharpish.
Which made me laugh.
We're all being made to pay out-the-nose for both recreationally tearing holes in our lungs and also trying to survive by consuming liquids. Love it.

Top 3 Pranks to Play at Work (That don't get you sacked. Usually)

1. Using circular price stickers, use one on the palm of each hand and frighten away customers after closing by running around making explosion sounds and "shooting" them with your hand-arc-reactor-rays.

2. Using a hand-held scanner, discover the lost art of switching the scanner from "scan mode" into "torch mode" and watch as your colleagues try desperately to scan an object only to find it gets lit up instead.

3. Find some electronic tags that will make the shop alarm go off when passed through the doors without being deactivated and leave one- sticky side up- by the till point of the unsuspecting victim. When they inevitably tread on it, every time they go near the door way of the shop or try and leave for lunch, the alarm will sound and it will take them a good long time to figure out why.

Also just want to document, I remember when Radio Times cost £1.10