Unturned: Golf Ranges, Lighthouses, Zombies and Unreachable Helicopters

From the PNMS-approved publisher Smartly Dressed Games, comes "Unturned" a minecraft-looking game with more zombies, less pigs and (some might say 'thankfully') no silver fish.

I've just finished playing this game for the first time (Free-to-play on Steam) and I had a bit of a blast. It takes some time getting used to the running and the getting eaten pretty quickly, but you eventually develop strategies and techniques and...

AIM FOR THE HEAD.

That's pretty much all you can do when there's a zombie eating your face-flesh... but as long as you keep your tiny centre-screen dot on their ugly little block-y faces when you're punching the ever-living crap out of them they usually fall down.
I played co-op mode with the hobo who insists on residing in my attic (I have tried legal action, turns out he has friends in high places... I ran out of money before I could even present his own excrement as 'exhibit A' in court...) and found it was pretty fun. Much less "co-op" than you may imagine, you spawn in different places and it's nearly impossible to find each other... Oh but when you do...

So you start as a naked, weapon-less creature in a world to zombies:

 NO I DIDN'T JUST SCREEN CAP IT KAII, get over it.

This was the first "squealing about everything" moment of the game. I CAN HAVE A CUTESIE FACE. LOOK AT IT OH GOD.
My little naked, chunky body that no one could find sexy with EXACTLY my hair style and a little kitty face. ADORABLE.

I spent the first few death/respawns running about the island and punching zombies to death. It took me until the fourth respawn that I really got the hang of it. Spawning just beside a lighthouse, I climbed the ladder and punched the zombie guarding the top right in the head so centrally that it

JUST DIED.

I then looted a PONCHO (Second "Squealing like a fangirl" moment). Wandering around in my newly-found apparel, whistling the tune from 'The Good, the Bad and the Ugly', I saw a helicopter on an island! I tried at least 50 god damned times to get to the damn thing. Could I reach it?! Could I commandeer the metal bird like a post-modern- part Mexican- Captain Jack?! NO. Lame. 

But it was fun trying.

After a few more friends decided they had nothing better to do with their 3Ghz of processing power, they joined us on the Minecraft-esque Zombie infested island and that's when things got pretty amazing. They both spawned in different places (as everyone does) but we managed to find each other within the hour, and someone brought a car. Piled in, we did. On a country drive, we went. PILEDROVE ALL THE DEAD BASTARDS WITH OUR BUMPER, DID...WE. We found an infested military base and a few towns that we CLAIMED AS OUR OWN. We made base-camp, I nearly died, we swapped clothes and weapons then started shooting each other. Just like best friends do best. 

I eventually looted a builder's hat and found myself a gun. Then I died and went to play Might and Magic.

Overall; good game, play with friends. NEVER TURN YOUR BACK. on anything. Ever (especially douchebag friends). The graphics are so simple they're adorable and always take every chance you have to take a car and go on lovely country drives. 

Country drives that consist mostly of MOWING DOWN THE UNDEAD.