I found this on the internet the other day, whilst scanning. I am only posting things that make me genuinly laugh out loud. More story-like posts to come.
I apologise for the laziness of this post.
Evil, flying purple monkeys from space have stolen a segment of my brain and I'm trying to get it back...
On the upside, I went out drinking the other night. Did you know, if you pay for one pizza... you get two?
I don't know how that works either.
In other news: The new MUSE Album, 2nd Law? Wonderful. Go and buy it immediately.
£1 Comics are the best, as is Steve, the comic book store owner. I don't usually like to use people's real names in my blog (You may have noticed; Goff, Clown, Plague-Girl, Cheekbone etc etc) but this guys' name is much too legendary to cover. Besides, he owns a comic book shop. Don't be jealous. Wait. Do. Do be jealous. (He has a friend who builds ironman costumes) be ENTIRELY jealous.
My photography friend is doing just that. All at once.
I've donated some pennies and he'd REALLY appreciate it if you guys could help him out too.
Anything you can afford, from £100 to your left shoe would be fantastic. (Shoes not accepted as payment)
I'm expecting him to look like this at the end of the month:
If you're like me and find it difficult to make your moustache seeds grow (Wrong skin-soil or something) then have one of these. I print out and wear a new one everyday, that way no one suspects it's fake.
I'm going to go ahead and cut straight to the chase on this one.
[That took me a long time to write that line, I realised why. I was listening to Bon Jovi. *shudders*]
I was in Longleat with my family back in Summer. Y'know, the three days or so we had of sun this year. and on the way to see the Lions, the Clown I was with overheard a short conversation between a Mother and her (Probably 7-8 year old) Daughter. It ran sorta like this:
Daughter: "Mummy, where are the f***ing gorillas?" Mother: "I don't know, Darling"
This...
This makes my soul want to weep on the inside. If I were to use a word like that when I was her age (Not that I even KNEW that word when I was that age) I would have at least got a sharp talking to, if not a slap.
I'm not about to go into whether it's politically or morally correct to hit children at a young age, I completely understand both sides of the argument and also know that bringing up anything political on here is always like sending invites to Internet trolls for a slumber party. Yeesh.
As a student studying how to be a teacher today, we were running over the reasons of why we all wanted to be teachers.
We all listed similar things; Rewarding, long holidays etc.
I said it was because I diss other people's kids so much about how badly behaved they are. I want to change that.
Well, that's come to the end of this post. Short, wasn't it?
So here's some photos from the day we went to Longleat:
Aren't I just the best photographer in the world? No. I'm not - but my camera, Brutus, is the best camera in the world. No argues.
To finish up here, I would like to draw your attention quickly to my friend, Cheekbone's blog. It's about hating 50 shades, so if you're one of them, and I know you're out there. and I know you read my blog. You dirty things.
The other day, I was shopping in WHSmiths (As I do all the damn time) and when I say "The other day" I mean... about a month ago.
I spotted a magazine in the children's section (That's where all the cool kids browse) that was brightly coloured, full of shapes and big blod lettering, obviously there to attract little eyes. It worked. I was drawn to it like a magpie to a Shiny McShinington from Shiny town.
The magazine was produced by the BBC for the television programme, broadcast on the UK channel "Ceebeebies", "My Bloom's Nursery"
The magazine looked pretty amazing.
but what really got me was the prize on the front. All great magazines come with free stuff. And this free stuff was amazing. So amazing I bought the damn thing.
I've never taken drugs, I never want to. But if I was to take LSD- I can imagine THIS is exactly what I would see:
This... This is Mr Bloom. and his vegetables. Yeah- they all have faces, your mind isn't playing games. On the front of the magazine came free, 3 inch plastic figures of all of those vegetables. However, these vegetables all looked MORE stoned than they do in that picture. They all have wonderful names too.
Obviously, I was very excited.
It got me thinking, though. The age of child that this is aimed at, is about the same age when I was watching Teletubbies. and even earlier than that: Sesame Street.
Most, if not all, my viewers should know what Sesame Street is. and if you don't... well- here goes.
The legendary programme was dreamed up by some cool guys called Joan Cooney and Loyd Morrisett. Not Jim Henson, as many think. Jim Henson, was the genius behind the Muppets- the puppets involved in the show to teach kids everywhere about counting, shapes--- and cookies. This guy-will never die in the hearts of true 90s kids.
Not to be confused with this guy.
That is the cookie monster. He never really taught anything other than COOKIES ARE AMAZING.
The show was also home to more amazing characters: Bert and Ernie, the best friends, always presumed gay because they slept in the same bed... That rumour was quashed by the producers, after pointing out that actually, there are two seperate beds and they're not humans, they are puppets. They are just great friends.
Bert was my favourite. He collected paper clips and liked Pigeons. Isn't that just the best?! *Counts paperclips*
The days of Sesame Street on English Television at any decent time has long gone, and now we find ourselves with Mr Bloom up there along with In the Night Garden- equally trippy... not quite as educational.
and as a last little note, I want to remember my favourite television programme when I was a little trog (As opposed to a big trog...)
Along with my favourite character who only ever appeared in one episode:
And the most scary characters ever to come out of television can also be blamed on the Teletubbies:
Watch this first without sound, and watch the subtitles to be freaked out. Then- if you don't want to sleep for weeks; watch it with sound.
Hello my friends, internet trolls and anyone else fortunate enough to stumble upon my wonderous blog.
I became a student 3 weeks ago, and I haven't had internet for those weeks. So I do heavily apologise for not posting since then.
However. That nonsense can all come to a stop now! (Not all the nonsense, a lot of the nonsense is welcomed) because now I am a proud owner of 78Mb internet. Yum.
and 1000 channels on the tele. Doctor Who and Family Guy all round, I think.
Let me explain my title a little. I don't usuall, how novel.
I have been roughly counting since a few weeks ago, and so far- about 13 people on the university campus genuinly don't know my actual name. They know me as Batman, just as Batman. Not as anything else. I am stored in their phonebooks at Batman and when they address me, they only know to address me as Batman.
I think this is a win.
Student Cooking is not all it's cracked up to be. The first week, I lived off of the shopping my Mother helpfully did for me before I came down, the second week was a mixture of the food I had already and new stuff I had bought.
Suddenly. Something happend and it scared me.
I got this weird feeling that went on for a few days.
A feeling I've never felt before. and the feeling deepend when I came near the fruit and veg counter in Sainsburys.
I was genuinly missing fresh fruit and vegetables.
I thought "What is wrong with me?!" but none-the-less, I had to fix this issue. I went to the SPAR corner shop and went to buy some grapes.
Until you're on a strict diet of "NOT SPENDING MONEY" you don't ever think that £4 is horribly extortionate for a bunch of grapes.
Recently, however. I made this delight:
When you're a student, you eat out of saucepans to reduce washing up. That there is pasta with leeks and bacon. A good helping of bacon (4 rashers).
One day, bacon will be our currency. When the world is under my rule, and the world is right.
A few days later (Still this week, the only week I've become experimental and the gas cooker hasn't tried to kill me) I made this:
"This" is a sandwhich. believe it or not.
Consisting of a crap-tonne of salad (to quench my strange vegetable hunger), 6 rashers of cooked bacon and halloumi cheese, and some mayonaise. All on bread. It was so good. Considering I didn't have anything to eat the first part of the day, I had this at about 3pm, I haven't been hungry since :3
I think that just about does it for a "welcome back" post. Expect more. I have another story already, but this one is pretty long o_o
