Merry Christmas, Every One. Where's The Bacon?

To all Pasta-Followers out there, Merry Christmas one and all.

I hope you all get what you asked Santa for and that whoever makes you Christmas dinner salts everything just right.

If they are making you pasta, that they put more salt than that's needed, but to be honest- if they're making pasta for Christmas day, you're doing something wrong.

Get a frying pan out and whack on some BACON.

Sheep and Father Christma---Fraud.

 These marvellous photographs were all taken at the university's Christmas Dinner.

It was a wonderful dinner of; Turkey, peas, roasties, sprouts, stuffing, and of course the legendary piggies in blankets.

What made it better was that we all got a cracker too, and if that wasn't enough, a little red box each with a party popper and rocket balloon in it!

I however, did not get to take my rocket balloon home, because when I tried to blow it up, it slipped out of my hands and into the face of a rather angry looking accountant. Bah Humbug to him. They left as soon as other tables started to take aim.

"Sheep", there my good looking Welsh friend, looking--- very attractive. She was pretty excited about the food.

Oh, did I mention that we had 3 bottles of bucksfizz between us for £3 each? Proper bottles. The bottles that are pictured up there, in fact.

Finally, pictures of my friend's idea of a good Christmas Meal accompainiment- Skips. Of course.

oh and that over there. Yeah Santa turned up too. Our table had about 50 raffle tickets between us. Did Santa pick our tickets out? No.

He wasn't the real Santa anyway. He didn't smell like cinnamon and candy canes.

Trancetto! (Yeah, I don't know what that is either)

This little menagerie of photographs are all of one product. A product that looked like an amazing idea to a hungry student for £1. You know something's going to be good when you can barely find the ingredients written in a language you can understand (And since it's not too commonplace for ingredient lists to be written in either Backslang or Runes, I had to look for my third preference of English).

"Sponge Cakes with Fat-reduced Cocoa Filling" When they say "Fat-reduced" they also mean "natural-reduced" "food-reduced" and "Taste-reduced" I literally had to eat three of these to try and decide whether I liked them or not and I only came to the conclusion that I didn't either like or dislike them. I just--- didn't/did.

They are confusing bits of what feels a lot like washing-up sponge. They didn't taste enough of anything for me to decide whether they were nice or not. I don't know what to do with them.

I can only assume they're made of magic. So I will continue to eat them in the vain hope of developing super powers.

A Post Full of Lies!

 If this doesn't stop my housemates from eating my ketchup, I genuinly don't know what will.

(That's a lie. I know of one worse thing that I can hide in ketchup, but it would definitley deem the ketchup inedible for all parties)

 I broke my spatula. When I heard him crack, I think I heard gentle tears.
He's pink.
YEAH WHAT OF IT. Real men wear pink. and now--- now he's gone.

He served me well. and then I dropped him on the floor and he didn't bounce. Not like a baby.

This rather delightful-looking dinner was my desperate attempt at emptying the freezer. The meal did its job. It cleaned out the freezer. Did it taste any good? Does it look like it tasted any good? The answers are the same.

This final picture I will leave you with is a student's Dominos meal. It's tiny "pizzas" with melted cheese and onion. If I closed my eyes really tight, I could imagine it was a texas barbecue.

I lie, again. It tasted nothing like dominos :(

Fred- Sort it Out.

So, here we are, 3 days from the end of the world- and what are you doing?
I'm acting like the world's going to end, but I think I act like that most of the time.

My pizza from Dominos is on its way and I've got my Clown (Do not click link if you have a phobia of clowns) here for hugs. I'm pretty cushy.

It's been a little while since I last posted, so here's a little roundup of things you've missed:

This. I found it on facebook. It made me laugh. I hope it makes you laugh too. Not too hard though.

Don't want to poo yourself.

A very enthusiasitc clarinet player entertains Bath highstreet last week with his band of merry men. They were very good, style a lot similar to The Real Tuesday Weld.

If they had stopped playing for more than a minute, I would have asked them to do the Cantina Band song from Star wars Episode 4. They had all the right instruments and it would have cheered up that day at work.

I wasn't quick enough to get a picture of my next shenanigan, but as I was waiting at the bus stop, a bus drove past with one of those full length advertisements down the side. It read "Sunburn is not a good look" and was warning against the fears of sunburn. In the middle of December, I have difficulty imagining that's going to be a problem. Update your ads, Buspeople.

That'll do for now.

The World As We Know It.

I'm printing this off, and having it on my wall as my own world map.

Danger In The Mang

Christmas fair went really well, and look what I picked up as a cheeky addition to my wall of cool.

This fantastic hand-made pikachu bunting is wonderful and I love it.

Yesterday, I went and saw... "Danger in the Mang.." apparently, according to the screen outside our theatre. Nativity 2: Danger in the Manger was fantastic. David Tennant's performance was hilarious and very believable.

Much like the first Nativity, the characters are all loveable, and brilliantly casted. Although some of the children's lines were quite farfetch'd, it didn't draw anything away from the storyline and it's a very feel-good film.

A perfect family movie to watch to get into the christmas mood.

WICKET!
This is my new friend: My Wicket backpack.

He's soft, fluffy and is fantastic. The way his paws are attached to the strap makes it look like he's clinging to my back when I'm wearing him!



Thank you Bath Candy Comics for uniting us.

Neca Elder Predator Figure Review- DON'T DO IT

What's a cow's favourite piece of music?

The Moolit sonata

Sorry.


This is a review post. A review to advise you AGAINST ever buying this toy.
If you like the Alien Predator series, you might have thought about purchasing this:

Yeah, they look pretty and they are stunningly detailed.

They also break. Right out of the box. You see that left arm there? (Their left) that elbow joint has at some point been GLUED in position and so as soon as you try and bend it, snap. Off it comes.

Don't buy this figure, it's pretty to look at, but if breaking figures makes you want to cry, like me- don't bother.

It's not just me who has had this problem, watch reviews on this figure on youtube, and read reviews. They all say the same thing.

Upsetting and disappointing work from Neca, as a lot of my collections come from them.

Tilt Back Your Screen.

"Someone appears to have poured urine down the front of my pants and stuffed mashed potatoes down the back of them. Where's my teddy bear?"

Epic Meal Time, Small Scale Pasta.

 85pence pack of 5 strips of bacon, weave those lovelies into a BACON MAT and grill.

 Cook up some onion rings in the oven with the bacon mat.

 Cook up some pasta, cheese sauce, sweetcorn and peppers. Cook those babies and MIX.

 Prepare a big dish. Big enough to last you more than 3 days.

Pour in layer of pasta, sweetcorn and pepper mix.

Sauce is cheese, flour, milk and tomato puree.

Add layer of onion rings, and layer of bacon and top off with another layer of pasta mix.

Let's All Take Up F.A.G Breaks!

My Mother's idea of a cult: "A minority craze"

An insightful week at work this week in WHSmiths. A day when I was so tired, I spent the day in a dazed state doing whatever seemed normal. I was sat on tills all day which made brainless work easy.

Around 2pm, a customer bought a pack of 20 cigarettes for about £9 and complained that the weather outside made her feel horrible and that she "needed a fag break" She then exclaimed about the price of said "Fags" and left.

The customer after her wins Pasta's "Thought-provoking quote of the week" award. He looked disgustingly at the last customer and said this:

"You can buy 20 chocolate bars for £9, surely if you're going to wreck your health, you may as well do it with something that tastes nice"

In my dazed state, I smiled and bagged his newspaper, sending him on his way. About an hour later, when his words had processed- I had the fantastic thought.

Freddos are great. You can get them in packs of 20, everyone likes them. I even know people who are allergic to chocolate who can eat Freddos and not die. They bring happiness in their little frogg-y form and cost around 17p each.
Those of you 90s kids out there who remember when they were 10p each, respect points earnt there.

Inflation hit everything, but Freddos are still great.

I'm thinking of promoting a new type of "F.A.G break" where instead of the word "fag" being slang for a cigarette, it will infact stand for "Freddos Are Great" and be a calling for all Freddo-eaters to congregate together and share a freddo or two. It's illegal indoors, it won't give you lung cancer and they can make you happy on even the most dreary day.

Excuse me, I need to go on a fag break.

Dedication to Cheese, Our Favourite Imaginary Friend

Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends was a TV show created by Craig McCracken (Who also happens to have one of the best names known to man)

The show was aired on Cartoon Network until 2009 when the show finished.

Cheese is one of the most well-known and, in my opinion, best characters of the show.

This post is a little tribute to that fantastic character voiced by Candi Milo.

Lost: Virginity

A few weeks ago, everyone at Bath Spa University, UK recieved this e-mail from a lady in the office:

With the subject "Lost Glasses", we learnt of Alison's sad story about her lost glasses. A few days later, we recieved another e-mail informing us that her glasses had been found. Thank the lord.

However, a few days after this e-mail went out. EVERY student at Bath Spa University then recieved this:

The e-mail sparked a range of responses, mostly of congratulations and humour among the different accomodation buildings. A few days later, in the same fashion, we all recieved a second e-mail informing us of his "found virginity"

University is the best.

Christmas Craft Fair

Christmas season is well and truly upon us with the Coca Cola advert dominating our screens, the minutes-long Debenhams Advert and the fantastic John Lewis advert too all warming our hearts ready for the mulled wine and mince pies!

Christmas fairs are popping up all around the country as we get close to the big day and one I'd like to highlight to all of the people around the Guildford/Surrey area is the one at George Abbot School. This Sunday (25th November, 2012) 10:30am-3:30pm

I've been for years and it has only grown bigger every year! Last year we even had snow to really set the scene. This year there are going to be some fantastic stalls with all the best deals on them, perfect for treating yourself or Christmas presents!

A stall I am a little biased to promoting is the stall of Sue Masterton "Felt This". Felt-Genius and knitting phenomenon, she has been very hard at work producing a massive range of goodies to sell on her stall on Sunday for prices lower than low.

Some of the things available will be:

These beautiful tree decorations, to add a little hand-made sparkle to your Christmas tree this year! With tonnes of designs and colours, there's one for any "theme" you may have, or maybe ask your child to pick out their favourite colour!

Also on offer are these fantastic mug cosies! Lovingly Hand-knitted and come with the mug they're sat on, these make a perfect present for that special tea-lover, or of course if you fancy keeping your cuppa warm for the whole episode of coronation street this winter, treat yourself to one!

One of my many personal new favourites on the stall this year is the beautifully crafted woolly breakfast! The knitted kits are all different from one another (The one pictured includes; two mushrooms, one tomato, a fried egg, one sausage and one streak of, my favourite, bacon) The perfect fry-up!
Fantastic toys for children, hard wearing and prettier than the plastic ones available! Safer too!

This is a tiny selection of just some of the amazing products that will be available at "Felt This", there will definitely be something for everyone!

Also attending, Jane Cameron, a Silk-Painting artist. A beautiful range of silk paintings to choose from all at even better prices. Her website here (with pictures of the stall you'll be seeing too!)

So get your boots and coats on and head on down there on Sunday! There's also a raffle, tombola, cake-sale and activities for children!
Also don't miss a visit from guide-dog puppies at 11am!

See you there!

DoodleBug

I doodle ALL the time, and I've always felt that it helps me concentrate, but have always felt a little rude doing it while someone is trying to give a talk or chair a meeting.
However, a video posted on TED recently has got me thinking, and has luckily proved that it is infact a very healthy habit.




See the comments and whole page here. Also lots of other talks that are very inspiring and not too long. I know what you're like, you teaspoons, you.

I did lots of doodling today whilst listening to my seminar tutor, and didn't feel bad about it at all. I learnt a lot (and even corrected her on one point...)

After waiting an hour in the rain and galeforce winds, a bit of electroswing and sweetcorn is in order. Life is good. 

Hey, You- Geek!

Do you read comics?

No? Would you like to?
Yes? Brilliant, then you've probably read some bad ones too.

I've started writing reviews for the comics I read so you don't have to waste your money on bad ones.

You can find it here: www.isitworthreading.tumblr.com

It's only just been born, so be nice. It'll copy whatever you do, it's learning.

VistaPrint is Cool.

 The lovely lads and ladies at vistaprint have given me all this suffs for free :D

You can get some free stuff too, just head on over to vistaprint.co.uk

< That picture right there is of my bedroom wall. Batman is a favourite thing, so is Johnny Depp. but in the top left is my favourite thing. It's a banner made for Pasta Needs More Salt! I love it.

<These bits are on my bedroom door now, A big yellow and red poster and a car-door magnet.

 These stars are postcards with pasta's stuff on it. Our taglines and our names.

 and the backs of the postcards down there.

Finally the last piece, some sticky notes done up with our taglines and blogspot website. Wonderful.


This stuff is supposed to be helping me choose a design for Pasta, since it needs a colour-theme.

Please do comment if you like some designs better than others, or if you think some are definite no's!

and for heaven's sake. Salt your pasta.