I would like to dedicate this blog post to two people. Two people we, at smiths, like to call "Five-to Guy" and "Slow-mo"
I have been a modest saturday girl at WHSmiths the UK Stationers now for just under 3 years. When you work in a retail post (A "shop" to common folk) for so long, you start to recognise certain characters popping in nearly every week, at roughly the same time. There are some people you wait for and are lovely to see every week, and then, like one of the characters you are going to meet in this post, there are some which we like to hide from and let the other, more ballsy among us serve.
The first person I would like to introduce you to is Five-To guy. This man, dressed in black trousers, black boots, black t-shirt and black jacket. Comes---- there's no better word for it other than "bumbling"- in at five to six, five minutes before we close, reads a magazine, a book from upstairs and then leaves at six on the dot. His hair is floppy, his shoes are always pristine and he always manages to get everything done in five minutes. No one's ever spoken to him, no one knows his name. But we appreciate you, five-to guy. We love you. In a way. in a--- detached way. In maybe the same way an old lady appreciates the woodpecker that comes into her garden over the summer months and then dies. You'd be missed for a few weeks, and then forgotten about. Brought up in conversation a few times when the opportunity came up, but other than that...
The second person this blog post is dedicated to is to a customer who isn't known well for her constant presence, not for her spot-on timing or even for the seeming lack of money she spends in store in relation to how long she spends in there. But for the way she does her shopping. Slow Mo is a rather special character and she's always accompanied by her equally challenged--- handler. She does look very happy with herself all the time. Her bubble seems so pleasant. She waddles in, usually, dangerously close to closing time and always heads straight (Very slowly) to the magazines. She walks... pads... edges... at snails pace. Everywhere. She's not old, so it's not athiritis. She just must prefer to take her time to enjoy the--- stationery scenery. She can spend an easy ten minutes looking at one child's magazine before eventually deciding that's the wrong one and move on to the next. Sometimes I wish I could live my life in such a content bubble.
We haven't seen you in a while, Slow Mo- so do come back. We miss you.
The next person--- I couldn't dedicate this post to becase she deserves very little at all. She is nicknamed--- "FD" or "Female Dog" for obvious reasons.
She is foul to us. She has her favourite staff members (Sean, here's looking at you, buddy) but everyone else is scum to her. She swears, she throws things, she's impatient. Everything you don't want your customer to be like. She's it. She's also very old-looking. I'm sure she'll die soon.
The last two people are regulars on a Saturday and they're just lovely. So quick shout out to the Mother who brings her small ginger boy-child in who is usually very active and beeps everything on the self-serve himself. Cute.
and another to the little mature lady who comes in every week; buys a stack-load of magazines and a bag-for-life and is always so happy to see us :D
:DISCLAIMER:
None of the views expressed in this blog post are the same or similar in any way to those held by WHSmiths the company. They are my own personal views completely and any upset caused by these views can be taken out with me.
[I will tell you to go away and grow a pair, but you can try if you like]
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