So much has happened over the last week or so that I have barely been able to contain my excitement. I've been like an open bottle of milk that slips out of your hands. GLUG GLUG GLUG.
I went to HAMLEYS O_O OH GOSH. It was so exciting. It was like heaven. At one point I had to pinch myself to check I wasn't dead. I think it works for if you've died... that's right... right? Yeah.
I got a Hexbug. FINALLY. Pennywise the Dancing clown bought me a Hexbug "Grub" the little thing propells itself around the floor wiggling its fanny as it moves and doesn't bump into objects. It's more impressive watching it avoid walls than it would be to watch someone dress a dolphin as the pope.
I'm lying a little bit. Someone find me a concenting dolphin. IMMEDIATELY.
In other news. I've been commuting to London for the last two days. The first day, my eyes nearly fell out I was so frightened of new things, fat businessmen, the smell of whisky and falling into the tracks in an overwhelmed mess. Luckily. That didn't happen, minor singeing was all that occured and that was from the SHEER HEAT of the train itself.
5 Things to Expect When Commuting
1] Newspapers suddenly become interesting. You find yourself WANTING a metro instead of considering to use them as toilet paper when caught short. 2] You'll start wanting to snack. ALL THE TIME. Of course, this wasn't too new to me. But suddenly--- I started eating grapes as a snack. I don't know what's wrong with me. I'll see a doctor as soon as I work the fibre out of my system.
3] Hot, fat, sweaty people WILL invade your personal space and they WILL touch you. There's no use in squashing yourself into the corner by the door because one of two things will happen. Either, you will squash yourself so the person infront of you thinks they have the space to move back towards you, leaving you in world's most uncomfortable position in the world for the entirity of your journy OR the doors will open on the opposite side to where you got in and you'll be cruelly ejected by the force of people squeezing together. Like puss out of a spot.
4] Cabs will RUN YOU DOWN. If the light is green when you start crossing, but the sheer mass of people infront of you slow you down to the point that you're only 3/4 away over the road by the time it flicks to green. THEY WILL KILL YOU. RUN. Running is the only option.
and finally5] Your bogies will turn BLACK.
Want to know why I highlighted the word "grape"? Because "Grape" is a wonderful word. Especially when accompanied with the word "Executive"
Try it. Wonderful isn't it? You're welcome.
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