The Mouthgasm: Sounds disgusting, Sounds sexual.

The mouthgasm. A stack of all of the most delicious, easily accessed foods in the world. Every fridge stocks them, every household can breed them. Less than 20 minutes preperation and cooking time, a tiny bit of multi-tasking required- but if your wife is doing her job right, then she should be on standby ready to make you one anyway.

'How do I make one of these heavenly sammiches?' I hear you say.
Well, I don't because you're too far away. Shut up, Kate.
Right.

Step 1
Grate an unreasonable amount of cheese. When in doubt- Cheese it out.

Step 2
Pretend you're a man and cook some BACON. Place all of the cheese onto four pieces of bread on a grill pan and place cooked bacon on there too. Cover it in a little blanket of cheese to keep it warm.

Step 3
Cook some EGGS

Step 4
When the cheese has melted so much it's screaming in agony; take it out and pop on top the chicken periods. I mean eggs. Top with LASHINGS of ketchup.

Step 5
Find a handsome bloke to stand and hold it with a spatula so it looks partially like it was him who made it. Use instagram.